The Rent is Too Damn High

They sold the youth of the nation to archaic preachers, aging politicians, convenience and currency. Toxic laws and worn-out dogma design our lives and determine our futures. Student loans, inflation, and immovable wages lock us into their work weeks: we serve capitalism now. Brainwashed into capitulation by mass media and the school system: we never had a choice.

My American dream died, but I dream. I dream of life, love, and the pursuit of common purpose: a meaningful existence.

Our revolution has begin; I hope you’re hungry.

Discarded

We never forget old friends and ex-lovers, childhood homes, and college roommates.
Time sews wounds and sows them just the same.
Neglected: we live in the back of their minds among ratty clothes and leftover takeout.
We rot in fridges beside sour milk and moldy fruit.
Bury memories until the flies hatch, ants march, and death’s odor assaults the senses.
Toss us out with the trash.
We’ll be picked up on Tuesday morning; our fiery rebirth awaits.

Priceless

So you want to be authentic?
You want to live in the present moment?
Murder your past. Choke out memories with your bare hands.
Hack your trauma to bits. Watch half-hearted holidays bleed out.
Ruminate on nothing because nothing came before.

Fuck the future. Your expectations and assumptions are a joke.
Do they help you sleep better at night?
Drown your plans in the tub with your judgement.
Toss in a toaster for good measure.
Free yourself in the recognition that you have control over noting but what you do right now.

Ignore your fears; they’re irrelevant.
Feeble attempts to ease your discomfort with the unknown.
Will anxiety ever prepare you for your death?
You’re going to die and most of us don’t choose when.
Worry prevents you from living.

Inaction is sedation.
Rumination is self-flagellation.
You’re here now. Lose your ego.
Leave your self-created cage. Abandon your screens.
Go Outside.

Every moment you wait for life you’ve chosen death.
There is opportunity everywhere: take it.

Stench

I’d stop and smell the roses, but I prefer
fresh graffiti, gasoline, and paint thinner.
I watch the death and rebirth of the city
as winter wanes and spring has sprung.

Every second, I wither.
Death does not come once and
I aim to die every day.
I wonder when my spring will come.

Not every tree survives the cold.

Too Late

Shadows dance on spackled walls, soaking up the light.
Papers scattered, strewn about the somber floors.
Silence grows, basking in the night.

Dark stains pool on a rotting desk.
Maggots tear at old flesh, tasting death.
The scent of urine lingers, long forgotten.

The man in the corner, sits alone.
A flash of light, a glint in his hand.
The needle calls, begging for a vein.

His sigh echoes, reverberating off wooden eaves.
Restless thoughts leak into the air.
Looking up in elation, he notices he is not alone.

-Peter Brindley

The end of the World Begins in March

Last night I prayed to God, in my bed.
Something I do, perhaps not often enough.
Something I read, so filled me with dread.
March 9, 2016: they say the world will begin to end.

The arrival of Planet X, Nebiru, wormwood.
Bringing, in its wake, rapid climate change.
Ocean tides will rise, flooding coastal states.
Poles will shift, 10 degrees, changing Earth’s orbit for good.

Earthquakes, Tsunamis, Martial law, Mass panic,
The Government, 1%, all safe in their bunkers.
Bunkers which have already been erected.
Death of billions, unaware, a worldly Titanic.

I questioned myself: Am I ready to die?
Thought of the works of Sartre, Camus, Schopenhauer.
To them these thoughts would be trivial, absurd even.
Yet I still wonder, what kind of man am I?

So much of my life still worth living.
So much purpose, my dreams, unfulfilled.
So many wrongs I have committed.
So many things to be forgiven.

Yet Sartre would say, a whisper in my ear,
Do not hold yourself to morals, these constructs of men.
Camus would tell me that death is the only constant,
Schopenhauer says deaths already here.

So the fear passes, worried thoughts subside.
I know if need be, I am ready to die.

-Peter Brindley

Welcome Back! Rant about my new life.

I apologize for my lack of posting in the past, well long time. Last semester was quite a rough time for me personally. I lost touch with myself, and basically fell into the depths of depression and the abuse of crutches to mask my emotions, my problems, my insecurities, and a slew of other issues i had with myself. Crutches could be anything, ranging from sex, drugs (not that i do drugs), alcohol, relationships, or any other aspect of life that is used inappropriately in order to mask issues, remove stress, hide emotion, etc, without actually confronting the issue at hand. It took me quite a bit of time to get through this, especially because the group of friends that i associate with most, was and sadly still is, spiraling down that direction.

Thankfully, a summer with some well needed alone time, has allowed me to get myself back onto the path that i desire to be on. In fact, not in my entire life have i been on such a good path. My goal is to lead a healthy lifestyle, that will ultimately lead me to my goals and desires.

This idea of a healthy lifestyle permeates well past simple bodily health, although for me that’s a big step. I have always been overweight, and due to the ridicule of my brothers, i grew quite self-conscious and coped by well eating more. Seems quite silly to me now, but at the time I didn’t even know i was stress eating.

Anyway, basically for me now, to be going to the gym on a daily basis, and to be eating healthy is a big step. How i got to this place where i don’t just give up, give in to my desires, give in to my insecurities that it will never work? Well honestly, I’m in a pretty good place with myself. I believe that before we can love anyone else in this world, we must love ourselves. Getting to that place is no easy task. It took me quite some time, time full of reflection, meditation, and reading material that would guide me on the way. Two vital books that i found were, Gifts of Imperfection, by Rene Brown, and Active Consciousness, by Amy L. Lansky. To the authors, thank you both.

Basically, though, my healthy lifestyle involves, emotional, bodily, psychological, and basically any other aspect of this life’s health. I’ve gone on diets before. I’ve also attempted to keep up exercising. But it never worked out. I was always doing it because i was insecure and didn’t like the way i looked. This time however, i am sticking with it. I believe it’s because this time I’m not doing it for anyone, I’m not doing it for society’s fucked up views on beauty. I’m doing it for me. I’m doing it to be healthy, to be able to do all the things I want to do, and to generally get right for myself. I encourage you all to do this with me. If you want any more information on what, my steps are, feel free to reach out. Also, i encourage you to check out those two books.

Sorry for this long rant about my new life style, I really only wanted to let you all know that along with this healthy life, I am working on the path to reach my goal. So i will be posting on here much more often. Also I’m currently enrolled in a creative writing class, which is forcing me to write, so i will be posting some of my writing from there on here. It feels good to be back.

Dear viewer,

Welcome to my blog. This is my first blog. I have high hopes for it and I hope you enjoy. This will basically be a mixture of my thoughts, writings, and I guess whatever else I would like to put up here. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, feel free to contact me. However, I would not like to receive any shit, this includes spam or hate mail.

A little bit about me. I am a 19 year old college student, studying at Stony Brook University, on long island, NY. I am currently studying Psychology and Literature. My passion however, lies in writing and reading people. I have started this blog with the encouragement of a few of my friends, and i hope this will be the beginning of a long and successful career in writing.